Stop asking Women, “Who is the Guy with Her?

As I am in my late 20s, I go through some of the queries from people around me which are full of cringe. Previously, these very same queries used to make me scared or embarrassed.

For example, I went on a bike ride with a friend of mine and I took a video of the ride. I posted the video on my Instagram story and the majority of responses that I received were,

“Who is the guy?”

I do not get these queries when I am with my female friends, I mean, never. Why am I not asked, who is she? When there is a girl in the photo with me. Where does the curiosity go then?

Let me give you another example, one of my best friends’ birthday was a couple of weeks ago and I bombarded my socials with birthday wishes for him. Two people messaged me asking if he is the one! As in, if he is the one I am dating? What is this?

Okay, I kind of get it. We do feel curious as human beings like we desperately want to know what is happening in other peoples’ hoods. I do feel the same sometimes, but I don’t go around asking this to random people who are not that close to me! I mean, isn’t it sometimes “not okay” to so blatantly ask others about who is the guy, hmm, hmm? Why just assume that because I have posted about a particular person, who happens to be a guy, means that I am dating him or he is my boyfriend?

The third example is when I was in college and I was going to coaching one day with one of my guy cousins. A teacher of mine saw us and called me in the teacher’s room the next day to ask about it. Well, it is not a problem that she asked, the problem was when I told her how the guy and I are related and she did not believe me. Instead, she said, ‘এরকম সবাই বলে’, the fuck does that mean?

Anyway, this is the last example that left me speechless. I posted one photo of my brother and I and two people thought we were dating. কি বলব এখানে? In the age of social media, if you really want to know how two people are related, you can just check their social media profiles and you will get the answer you are looking for. But that’s not even the point. The point is, seeing a girl and a boy together does not ALWAYS mean that they are dating! Come on now, this is simply common sense and you are in 2021! Keep up!

Do you know what I think?

I think these are bad habits of making assumptions that children learn from their childhood from family members and surroundings and continue to do so till the end of their lives. So, it is not only the aunties to blame but also, the other girls, other guys, and the entire society. It has become such a weird and toxic cycle that nobody seems to be even trying to get away from it.

An amateur writer from Bangladesh, living in Malaysia